


The MJN Journal of Current Affairs

by rachelvanbora



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-26 15:36:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9908972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rachelvanbora/pseuds/rachelvanbora
Summary: The MJN crew v. contemporary politics. Short snippets. Previously published on tumblr. or, in one case, AO3.





	1. Elections

**Author's Note:**

> Carolyn, Arthur, Douglas and Martin are flying in an enchanted world that is blissfully free of politics. Thank Finnemore for that, yet I sometimes can´t help but wonder: what would they say? Chances are, I´ve gotten it all wrong (feel free to correct:-) but I had to try anyway.

FLIGHT PLAN

Carolyn: Gentlemen, don´t tell me you haven´t done the flight plan yet.

Douglas: Well, we have contemplated the globe-

Herc: -and then decided to check with you first. Perhaps you have a different one?

Carolyn: Oh dear. Did my wise and experienced pilots expect a knight in a shining armor, riding to the rescue?

Douglas/Herc: No.

Carolyn: Or, more incredibly still, did you expect people to grit their teeth and vote with their brains?

Douglas: That has been known to happen.

Herc: You old romantic, you.

Douglas: I have seen many politicians who said all the right things and then, when the campaign was over, did nothing right. But this is the first time I have seen people elect somebody who said all the wrong things - and yet- they are firmly convinced he´ll do the right things.

Carolyn: Well. At least you can plausibly claim your plane was even more golden than his.

Herc: That´s quite probably true.

Douglas: Yes. Did that thought cheer Arthur up?

Carolyn: To no end.

Douglas: Splendid.

Herc: Tell you what, Martin called this morning.

Carolyn: He did?

Herc: To tell me he wasn´t panicking. In about five different ways. Apparently Theresa is due any time now.

Carolyn: To Zurich, then?

Douglas/Herc: To Zurich.


	2. Brexit

Martin: Erm, pistachios?

Douglas: Wasabi.

Arthur: Grass.

Douglas: If you are a horse, certainly.

Herc: Brussels sprouts.

Carolyn: I´m not having that debate again.

Herc: Debate is healthy.

Carolyn: You can have too much of a healthy thing.

Herc: Can you?

Carolyn: There´s no way you can force that foul-smelling on people´s palates.

Herc: No, of course not. But you could describe its merits and shortcomings objectively, so that people could make an informed decision.

Carolyn: An informed decision? Herc, any decision you make in life is half-informed at best. The rest is pure chance.

Martin: Are we still playing Greenest Ice-Cream Flavor?

Douglas: Nope, it morphed into another postmortem. Anyone fancy a go at Yellow Car?


	3. Subprime crisis

A HAIRCUT

Arthur: But how can that possibly be of help?  
Martin: Well, Arthur, basically-  
Carolyn: Fools rush in…  
Martin: – it is a percentage reduction of the amount that will be repaid to creditors.  
In debt restructuring agreements, I mean. To save failing banks. Countries.  
Arthur: By a haircut? It must be a magic haircut, then.  
Douglas: If only.  
Arthur: Aren´t you supposed to loose powers, when your hair is cut, though?  
Carolyn: It´s a figure of speech, dear heart. Seriously Martin, whatever possessed you?  
Arthur: And then, when it grows back, you can crash everything down again. Like Samsung.  
Martin: Well…technically, it´s Samson…  
Douglas: …but you got the gist.  
Arthur: Told you. Let´s do synthetic CDOs now.


End file.
